Shew! Rant over.
This weekend I had some quality time with myself thanks to my lovely Momma, who whisked the kids away for lunch and a park playdate. Although most of that time was spent wondering how best to use that time because I don't always have time to do with as I will and I was quite overwhelmed to the point of being absolutely paralyzed. I did end up writing some of my emotions out and printing off some things to help make the upcoming week run smoother. The planner in me is very alert right now because she *demands* a plan. She will not be left to worry and wonder any more!
Basically I have three things to focus on for the rest of February: sleep, hydration, and flexibility.
"Kendra, we hear this from you every month...."
I know, I know, but this time I have different reasons. Reasons that will (hopefully, read: pray your heart out for me, please) make me spring into definite action.
I am suffering because I can't wake up for my morning Bible study because I'm not going to bed early enough because of 1) the kids not sleeping well (which is another problem in itself) and 2) trying to spend time with my husband which means staying up later. Something's gotta give, and I think I need to take some time to give myself some TLC and that means prioritizing sleep. I know it isn't ideal to have to sleep in your toddler's room every night, but if it means I get 7-8 hours of shut eye I'm going to have to make it work for now... until I can get her comfortable sleeping two feet away from her big sister without trying to play and talk all night long (again, different problem for a different day).
I'm suffering further because I am not taking care of myself because I'm preoccupied with everyone else's schedules. I'm not having a decent breakfast, I skip lunch more often than not because there's no time to cook or make anything, and then I am snacking too much in the evening because I'm also dehydrating myself. One day last week I couldn't remember having anything to drink at all besides a cup of coffee. *gulp* My daughter got me to hop on the Cirkul water bottle train, so I have that to help out, but if I have to forgo coffee for a while, then so be it. I know I feel better when I drink plenty, I just can't seem to get myself to remember to drink plenty! I suppose I'll be setting timers and making sticky note reminders for a while until I can forge a habit again.
Lastly, I'm suffering because I'm so overwhelmed with how I want to be living each day and from thinking about the goals I have in mind that I feel like it's too late or won't matter anyway. I'm either unsure of where to begin or discouraged from beginning completely. For instance, I *know* I want to wake up an hour or so before the family each morning for Bible study and quiet time (maybe even a workout). Instead of setting myself up for complete discouragement, I'm going to designate 3 days a week to rise early and allow myself some wiggle room the other two. That way, I'm still making progress, even if it's just a fraction of it. So while the main goal is "5-6 days a week I'll rise early" a short-term goal is "I will rise early on Monday, Wednesday, and Friday." I don't have to absolutely throw my life upside down to get on the right track. I can start to steer my habits and intentions there slowly, and eventually I will make it to pounding the pavement toward the finish line.
So, you may not hear from me much this month, but I plan to be back in March with bells on! And hopefully, lots of progress to dish about!
