Dearest Daniel, on our very first date a song played at the restaurant that still resonates with me over a decade later. The song was Nelly Furtado's "Try." I know your entire life is music. I'm blessed to be a part of the composition of your life. I also know that I enjoy genres of music that you do not, and that you believe truly can't be called music at all. If you never listen to or hear the song "Try" again, I ask that you simply read the lyrics. I know God can use anything in the world to reach out to us, at any moment, right where we are. I know He was speaking to me that day, telling me about us right from the start.
Do you remember the scrapbook I made for you one Christmas, filled with our hopes and dreams for our lives together? It included the floor plans to our dream home—a yellow house with two stories and a room that could fit a grand piano—and the names of our future children (although I'm glad we have an Ezekiel instead of a Benjamin or Lincoln). We had no idea what life had in store for us. Although that book is lost to history, we're still beside each other, dreaming up more dreams.
Some of our dreams fizzled out, some were realized in unexpected ways, and some are still simply dreams. All we can do is try. It's easy to forget that we are two unique people, crafted by God for a greater purpose than anything we could dare imagine. It's also easy to get so caught up in work, household tasks, and parenting that we forget to nurture and nourish each other. I am well aware of how I've failed you in these last 15 years. I am also here to tell you that I will use the rest of my life on earth to be the wife that you need and deserve. All I can do is try.
All I know is everything is not as it's sold. But the more I grow the less I know. And I have lived so many lives though I'm not old. And the more I see, the less I grow. the fewer the seeds the more I sow.Then I see you standing there wanting more from me and all I can do is try.Then I see you standing there wanting more from me and all I can do is try.Try.I wish I hadn't seen all of the realness. And all the real people are really not real at all. The more I learn, the more I learn. The more I cry, the more I cry, as I say goodbye to the way of life I thought I had designed for me.Then I see you standing there wanting more from me and all I can do is try.Then I see you standing there, I'm all I'll ever be, but all I can do is try. Oh, try.All of the moments that already passed, we'll try to go back and make them last.All of the things we want each other to be, we never will be, we never will be.And that's wonderful. And that's life.That's you, baby. This is me, baby. And we are...we are free in our love.We are free in our love.Try.
Here's to another 15+infinity years of trying for you, my love. Happy Anniversary!
