I did a writing exercise where I wrote about when I would finally arrive "there." I made a schedule for my perfect day, complete with plenty of time to play with the kids and get all of the housework done. I wrote about how different I would be. Emotionally, I'd be calm and collected and never raise my voice or lose my temper. Physically, I'd be slim and toned with a year-round tan. And spiritually, I'd be living my best life with Jesus on my side, always praying and worshiping and serving Him in my church and community.
Sounds pretty great, right? What I wrote about next was what I had to do to become that woman. All of the changes I'd have to make, all of the things I'd have to give up, all of the time I'd need to dedicate to learn how to transform into that perfect person.
Although my intentions were good, the product I was trying to create was not what the Creator had in mind. No, there's nothing wrong about being a calm, slim mommy with a great tan and a Jesus song on her heart 24/7. What was terribly wrong with that vision was the power source behind the transformation. It is very self-centered of me to think *I* can transform my life to bring God glory.
No matter how hard I try to fulfill *my* plans, I will only be left with a God-sized emptiness to fill. Confession: once upon a time I stopped praying to Him entirely because I thought the second after I would ask Him for help, or for something I thought I needed, He'd turn and go give it away to someone else. I started believing that I didn't have what it takes -- and I was right in a way. Because I am not God.
Who better to help you with your transformation than the One who created you with His own hands and in His image? Why do we try so often to change the perfectly imperfect things He loves and cherishes about us? Why do we try to fill the God-sized space in our heart with our own will and works?
What would have happened if I had achieved that perfect vision I had for myself? I *still* would have felt lonely. I would have felt tired of having to keep up a charade, because that's all it would have been. The sin of pride is trying to tell us that there's nothing wrong with wanting to be better, do better, and "live your best life." As a believer we already know that to "live your best life" means taking up your cross, dying to self, and being obedient to God.
We weren't made to accomplish things apart from God. We were made to do His work with Him as our Guide. He is there before, beside, and behind us. As much as we all want to be able to push a reset button and begin again, restoring our lives to a place where there is peace, joy, and hope, patiently enduring our trials and undergoing divine discipline to become better sons and daughters of the Father, we all need help. That's where the strength of God comes in, closing the gap of what we're lacking through His supernatural power.
Leave God out of the equation and, although you may make it to the top of the mountain, your journey will be a lonely and unfulfilling one. I love 2 Corinthians 12:9-10 where it says:
Therefore, I will most gladly boast all the more about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may reside in me. So I take pleasure in weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and in difficulties, for the sake of Christ. For when I am weak, then I am strong.
A few verses prior to these, Paul is talking about a thorn in his side. No one knows the nature of his thorn, it could have been a medical issue, a spiritual one, among others, but Paul knew exactly why it remained with him; it kept him from succumbing to the sin of pride. Even though he wanted rid of it, Paul accepted his thorn, and lived with it by the grace of God alone. Had the thorn not been with him he would have become self-exalted and given glory to himself instead of God. There is a purpose for your weakness -- it reminds you that you need a Savior, a loving Father, and gracious God.
What is your thorn? Is it trying to be a perfect mom? Is it trying to lose weight and wear a smaller size? Is it trying to be as successful as someone else? Is it trying to beat a disorder or cure yourself from an impending diagnosis? Is it an addiction? Is it your pride? Is it your shame? Maybe you have a few or several. No matter how they exhibit themselves, have you thought that maybe they were allowed to help you understand how very little you are in control. He doesn't allow us to be tempted beyond our control and always provides us a way out. Knowing that, we can accept the flaws and less-than-perfect situations in our lives and say "yes" to His grace as He strengthens us to live a life that glorifies Him. These thorns allow us to grow our faith.
What is your thorn? Is it trying to be a perfect mom? Is it trying to lose weight and wear a smaller size? Is it trying to be as successful as someone else? Is it trying to beat a disorder or cure yourself from an impending diagnosis? Is it an addiction? Is it your pride? Is it your shame? Maybe you have a few or several. No matter how they exhibit themselves, have you thought that maybe they were allowed to help you understand how very little you are in control. He doesn't allow us to be tempted beyond our control and always provides us a way out. Knowing that, we can accept the flaws and less-than-perfect situations in our lives and say "yes" to His grace as He strengthens us to live a life that glorifies Him. These thorns allow us to grow our faith.
Remaining in our faith when we are being tested or tempted strengthens us more than life without thorns. Being steadfast in our faith is like lifting a set of spiritual hand weights that tone our trust in Him and give us a deep sense of peace no matter what the circumstance. And our reward? Not only are we closer to God, but we have victory over the world as He dwells in us.
